We were talking about ageing and health and my friend said how he has hit “the wall”. Meaning that he’s old, not feeling like he used to and that his time is up. He said I would understand when I was as old as he. He is in his late 60’s and I am 20 years younger.
All I heard was THE WALL!
His wall is the aging process, which we all face. What I want to say to him and to all with the same views, is how we go through the ageing process is all about ATTITIDE and our own thought processes.
This man is in good health, just the usual glitches; blood pressure and prostate trouble. He used to keep reasonably fit and watched what he ate, but he has let that go in response to his, “I am in the last few years of my life” attitude. He is right too, as long as he keeps believing that he WILL die in the next couple years, he will.
I wish I had thought to count how many references to “old” he had made in an hour and not just about himself but his wife too. He was starting to make ME give up!
I want to say to him that we hit walls all of our lives! Why are you letting this one stop you? We hit financial walls, health walls, death of loved ones walls, natural disaster walls, job loss walls, and walls of our own making.
What do we do? We stumble along the wall until we find the door and if not the door, at least the window to crawl through the wall. The strongest and most determined claw, cling and drag themselves right up and over the wall!
This person has had a great life and has overcome many obstacles to be where he is today. He is healthy and comfortable financially, two things a lot of younger people are lacking today. AND HE IS GIVING UP!
WHY is my question? Changing your mind about living your life isn’t an option in most people’s book.
I write this for myself as well as you. I want to be able to be this determined 20 years from now, 40 years from now and only through my OWN determination will I succeed. Who knows, I could be dead in 5 years and my friend will still be here moaning about being “old”. What a waste. Like the saying goes, old beats the alternative! So we aren’t as agile of body or mind, ADJUST!
This is my inspiration. This photo is of my Gram at 83 years playing on the monkey bars with
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my oldest daughter who was 3 at the time. My grandmother was still working and was ageless. She worked at staying healthy, active and informed.When I compare her life to my friend’s of “THE WALL”, they both had their trials and their tribulations, but the difference between the two was attitude.
Gram was never an age. I’m amazed when I think back over my life with her and remember she was 59 when I was born, 12 years older than I am now. I never thought of her as “old”.
People would ask Gram her age and she wouldn’t tell them. She would say it was only a number. I understand her reasoning now that I am older and see how we love to put people in boxes. We are more patronizing and solicitous of older people and we do treat them differently if we know their age. We don’t even do it consciously, but it happens.
My Grandmother worked until she was 91 and even though she was diagnosed with liver cancer she stilled amazed her doctors and those around her with her “live life to the fullest” attitude right until the end.
Genetics had nothing to do with her longevity. She lived longer than anyone in her family and it was attitude and how she chose to live and view her life that got her that far.
So to my friend with the wall I am saying, “Find the window, turn around and change your perspective,…quit this defeatist attitude!”.
I have come to believe that negativity is the true devil in our lives and hell is of our own making. My Gram taught me not to dwell in the negative and that there is good in everything, we just have to be willing to see it!
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