Mom

Wow.  Emotions are funny things.  The littlest thing can spark them.  Like vacuuming.  

I was vacuuming the guest room today where the stuff I took down to decorate for Christmas was hanging out for a few weeks.  I noticed the framed counted cross stitch my Mom had made me had the sun on it from the window, so I reached down and flipped it around so it wouldn’t get any sun damage.  I stood back straight and took the time to read the words my Mom had written on the back.

I had to stop because I was broadsided by so much love for my Mom and was so thankful for this beautiful gift she made me the last year she was alive and battling metastasized breast cancer.  I had been a horse crazy girl and her memorializing my love of horses was extra special.  But seeing her handwriting of all things triggered the flood.

Mom died the day after her fifty third birthday on the last day of July.  She didn’t make it until my birthday that year and I struggle to remember when she gave it to me.  Memories do fade with time until someone else repaints the picture for you.  I’m thinking she gave it to me during her last days…I’ll remember later.  Oddly enough, no pictures of the event which makes me think it was then.

I’m not a sentimental gal.  I used to save stuff, well I still have some of my high school days stuff and letters from Larry when we were dating and I love running across them all now and then.  But I also don’t like storing and moving stuff.  I live in the moment and for me anyway, when I don’t constantly rehash something or dwell on it, it slowly fades into the back storage recess of my memories.

I will always love Mom.  I don’t think of her every day, nor have I necessarily missed her.  I’ve never really missed people.  I have always had a firm belief that they have gone to a place where there is no pain and over the years have realized “they” are with us always.  We can’t hug them and stare into their eyes, but their love energy is still with us every day.  My love of knitting and crocheting are because of Mom and that has always kept her close and “alive” to me.

 

I love you Mom and thank you for your love and caring enough to leave so many special handmade with love treasures behind for us to keep you close and part of our lives!